I am trying to sleep!
So here I am, writing my very own bedtime story before I reread it and doze off. I am suppose to be resting now, Yes I am on my bed but I am not sleeping. I tried to, I laid down for 30 minutes but it was so hard. Well, partly it was because of my gastric and partly is due to another issue.
Well, I remember when I first moved to KL, I begin to miss home so much. And today, I somehow reminisce back this problem and fell into it again. When I was not feeling well back home, I have my daddy’s arm to find comfort in. And yes it still happen when I grow up (see I am not grown in typical Chinese family). Daddy will get the best porridge in town for me after he took me to the doctor. Before I head to bed, daddy will come with a glass of hot milk. BAck home when I am down, he is always there to listen to me. He is such a wonderful dad isn’t he?
Today, we are so far apart, I need to drive 4.5hours to reach him. Life is no longer that sweet without him so close to me. I miss him so much. I am down with gastric, I need to get my own food, drive myself to the doctor and comfort myself to sleep. Owh daddy! Seriously, no one can replace your love and your care! I miss you so much daddy!
Goodness, it is pass midnight and I am emo-ing in my blog. My stomach is still painfull and my heart hurts too. I am still trying to understand how provision and money can replace time and physical presence. The world have changed, they regret not working harder and earn more money than regret not spending much love with their love ones. Well, many things seems to be confusing as we begin to grow from our carefree life. Well, the old ones will tell you ” you are still young and will not understand but you will one day”.
If U dislike me emo-ing here you may please leave this page or move on to the next post! Neither shoot me nor comment.
I am just trying to see the light within my new life. Not as easy as I thought. I wonder how single woman make their way through towards a successful status. It has been a few months now, and I am still cultivating my surviving skill. Ah, not easy to survive. You have friends and peers, but where is the shoulder you need to snuggle in when you are down and broken? Well, maybe I am just too selfish and self-centered. Or maybe I would say too dependent. My dad knows my character well, but does ‘he’ know? Or life is better off when we run for our own goal than sharing it with your the other half? I would say it is easier. I can choose to do what ever I want to do (great if I am single) but now that I am not I would have to consider my choices so that I am not taking the selfish route. Sometimes, sacrifices would have to be made for a better reason. Career was my primary focus, now that I have my the other half to share, I would need to restructure my path to make sure I don’t neglect my family. I do hope it will be the same for the other half.
So what about tears? Sometimes we cry for the same thing over and over, but why cant we just save it and cry once and for all for the same issue? Well, the some place are facing water shortage. What about our eyes? Do we have so much tears to waste on a repeating issue?
I think i better punch myself to sleep now… if not I will just end up writing a book!
Goodness my gastric is killing me! Well, single ladies! How did you go through when you are in pain and you are all alone?… I would cuddle my pillow tight and force myself to sleep..and maybe visit the doctor tomorrow. what about you>??
with love and Good night
Although your posting was not too straight forward, I have a little clue about what you are trying to express. I know it is tough and not easy to get through lonely nights without your loved one. Lets see it this way, your other half is working hard out there trying to earn more bucks. So you have to understand and try to bare with it. It is all about compromise. Maybe you view monetary is not that vital but your other half views it as one of the most important thing in life. So perhaps try to discuss on priorities in your life with him. In short, Men are from mars and women are from Venus. Thus, definitely there will be misallignment in men and women priorities in life, escpecially in couples. It is all about compromise and understanding. Take care.